Don't Forget This Obsession

You don’t know how much of an effect you have on me-. Not just me, but my happiness, my well being- internal and external. At this point, im beginning to think that you’re the only one that will ever know me. Not the person that people see on the outside. Sometimes, I just don’t think you understand. You couldn’t possible begin to comprehend how much the little things count. Every unread text message, and all the times we don’t interact. You always have me thinking back. Now, I don’t think I can handle this being over. The day is slowly approaching. And when it does, I vow to let my emotions take over my mind. I am determined to let you know. That doesn’t matter, you probably will think im crazy. Maybe obsessed. Please know that a four letter word, let alone a 7 letter phrase is not equivalent to anything you have to offer. When (or if) you read this, I want you to be aware of my issued. Yes, I don’t think what im doing is healthy or civilized. I don’t have the strength to tell you this in person. So im telling the pen do the talking. I don’t think that I have the strength to leave you in peace. My inbox is overflowing with text messages full of things that bring peace to my life. You don’t have a clue about what I go through, or where ive been. I don’t either. Nothing ever mattered to me –until now- & that’s because now I know that someone cares. How long is this going to last? Misery is inevitable, but you should inform me when you don’t want me to experience it anymore. I don’t want to be afraid of expressing myself anymore. I want to be open with you and every one else. I want you to be aware of the passion I have for you. But every time I open up, it seems like you close up. Its almost as if you’re closing the door on me. The door that belongs to the cardboard box. The cardboard box where my heart currently resides. I cant handle it. When you realize what youre leaving behind, sometimes you wanna strive foward. In this case- I just want to press pause. I would enjoy living this moment in time. I want you to know that im not strong enough to tell you this, and I hadn’t meant to tell you this. Maybe you’ll understand one day. But for now, happy living.

-from the empty soul of ariel
p.s.if you know what’s good for you- you wont wait up for me. You’ll get on with your life, never looking back.

If you’re feelings risky and finally come to the conclusion that happiness (for me) is not obtainable without you- call me. Whenever you can.

I'll be waiting.