Of Amazement

I lay still

as the raindrops ease my pain

I write on my skin, my fears

and let the raindrops wash them away

I Look up into the northern light

and wonder, when are you coming home?

its amazing

so amazing

I Choose you.

Show me more than the naked eye can see

Confide in me, I wont tell

I lay on this bed, restless

I cant sleep, cant think.

I never gave up on you

Its amazing

So amazing.

Message From Your Heart

I am determined to wait
No matter how long it takes
at night when my lights are down low
I lay with my eyes closed
And think about you
And your remarkable, virile qualites
You are my source of misery & happiness
I am afraid of you
My tears like raindrops
fall down my window pane
I dont do this for fun
If I let you in,
Please take care of me

In A Contemporary World

In a perfect world
That doesnt exist
You & I collide
and till this day
I remember
On the laughs we shared
Your kisses upon my lips
I remember the day it all ended
You dumped a bucket of depression
On my life
What an unfortunate event
Poor little rich girl
No vicadent can ease this pain
No amount of liquid substance
can suffice for your love
These are my old-fashioned feelings
In a contemporary love
Tell me, does it hurt?

You Are

Affiliate yourself with teh lies
and we'll see how mandatory
popularity really is
You got older, but you're still young
You seem like you cant abstain from the BULLSHIT
go ahead,
tease your hair
Lace up your chuck taylors
Make me PROUD
Doesn't mean you're beautiful on the insinde
You Don't have enough charisma
to call yourself such a term!
You're just a false representation of something you
wished you were
Life is bittersweet
You're not often altruistic
You're the most banal homosapian
I'll ever think to love
Relax, you didnt last that long anyway

The Best I Ever Had

I thought you were
the best I ever had
If I feed into your lies any longer
I'll become incoherent when it comes to love
Our relationship degenerates
From my first mistake
You make me so vulnerable
After the tales you tell, Do you begin to have qualms?
Or are you THAT shallow?
I dont remember experiencing a love like this
ahh, the rigors of romance
I remember you used to succumb my questions
By saying 'I love you'
Its sad to see you squander such a powerful phrase
Just to think, You are the best I ever had

Absolute Turmoil

As you walk into the room
you see the polaroids burning
the smell of smoke, lingers on your clothes
like lust lingers on your sheets
I'll venture to say what I reall think
You're a fool
One look at your smile
And my mood fluctuates
This wasnt your contemporary breakup
& your conventional heartbreak
It was much more
Before you continue,
Notice the flagrant lok of disappointment on my face
What you see, is almost nothing at all
I don't have the strength to go on
You heart is my biggest enigma
Everytime I think i've begun to figure you out
You change
An experienced lover can easiley discern truth from bullshit
and this is absolute
turmoil.

Honestly, I'm Lying

eventually, I'll be able to break
these shackles around my ankles
Days later, I look down
and there's nothing there
ahhh, satisfaction
the sweet smell of iron,rust, and salt
Form tiny crimson red puddles on my bathroom floor
Breathe, Its worth it right?
WRONG.
I seem to make poor choices frequently
I am ashamed to say so
But thats the good thing about poetry
You the reader, aren't sure if im lying
Or if this is used to capture your attention
I am lost
Stuck between a rock and unrealistic place
This is what happens when an immovable force meets
and unstoppable object
You Can confide in me
Tell me your deepest secrets
I'll tell you what you want to hear
Just so you'll stay around
Long hard sighs escape my lips
Someone deserves to know the truth
and Honestly, I'm Lying.

Lines

empty lines
in this room,
I am present
all alone
just me & the paper
Free to express
Free to share my deepest fears
Free to express my immense hate for you
I could elaborate for days on the issue
I have enough lines
for you to confess
Tell us your dirty little secret,
Mr.Perfect
Show us who's best

Lovely Last Words

Dear Love,
"You mean absolutely nothing to me"


You sick bastard
How could you say that to me?
I've been to hell and back
Its a shame I even trusted you to begin with
Every night, you'd come back
and apoligize
Oh, the lies
I cant replace you
Oh, your lovely last words
Give me closure
Its all I ask of you
I love you.

Insanity in Living Colour

What happens when the ink runs out
and I have nothing left
an empty soul, I am
As I stare at the ceiling
I begin to wonder, where did I go wrong?
I went from bad, to worse,
and now I'm INSANE.
I dont believe in pursuing happiness
YET, I write about it so much
My need for it is crazy
I can't manage to get the words on the paper
To express to you, the way I feel
Dont hurt me now
I'm not trying to kill your hopes on purpose
Just accidentally

Kindergarten Logic

Pure satisfaction
In its dirtiest form
Pleasure isnt a supplement
for all the respect that I've lost
sperm cant mend a broken heart either
What makes you think you can?
You are my biggest fear
I lay my head on your pillow
In hope of a better day
But you demand for me to give IT up
who knew you were so sinister
What have you become?
I'm not quite sure
So I give it all up
And Let it all go

Its Untitled For A Reason

I dont need your faith in me
because everything you said I couldnt do
was accomplished a long time ago
What YOU need is someone to cherish memories with
You need someone to love you
through your hard times and pathetic group
therapy sessions
I cant help you
I never really could.
Obviously, You cant handle the truth
Neither, Can I

For You

Its 2am
I lie with the lights dimmed low
I dont sleep
Thoughts of you are running through my mind
I wont sleep
I'm afraid that when I awake
you wont be there
It kills me
I remember when we first met
your cool fingers brushed upon my skin
your way of greeting me
Im willing to deprive myself of anything for you
The little things that I worry about
dont compare to you
I'll do it all, for you

Beauty In The Breakdown

In the morning
as I splash lukewarm water in my face
Reality begins to kick in
Its not me, its you
Debussy plays in the background
as we lay in your bed
You whisper in my ear
'I know this isnt right, but I dont care'
You start kissing my neck
Placing your saliva right onto the pores in my skin
caressing my thighs
you fingers tangled in my hair
How Can Something Be so Bad
But feel so good?

Mister Good Lovin'

Demoralize my pride
and I'll still be a fiend for your love
without you, its a long walk home
I know I'm in way over my head
and I know that this is forbidden
But I just dont give up that easily
My inclination is to be with you forever
but things change; like people
we can go club hoppin' but
its nothing like watching CSI on the couch with you
We can smoke all the pot in the world
but I'll always be higher when I'm with you
We can drink until we're wasted
But no drug or substance compares to your love
Not at all